June 22 2009 (mid winter in New Zealand)
We are now at week 7 of our garage build and the first floor is done!
The concrete floor/ceiling is now ready for the actual garage to be built and the walls are going up right now.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Why we should forgive
1. Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless the perpetrator speaks
the truth about what they have done and changes their mind and behavior, a
relationship of trust is not possible.
2. When you forgive someone you certainly release him or her from judgement,
but without true change, no real relationship can be established.
3. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally acknowledge what they have done and the hurt they have caused,you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation. And sometimes that road may even take you to the miracle of fully restored trust.
4. Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly.
5. The perpetrator probably doesn’t care less about the pain and torment you have gone through. If anything, they feed on the knowledge. You can cut that off by forgiving them and in doing so, you will release them from a burden that they carry whether they know it or not; acknowledge it or not. And anyway, why should they live in your head rent free!
6. You can forgive them but you don’t have to feel loving towards them. But
understand that the broken child that has been twisted by their pain causes their actions.
7. Forgiveness does not require you to pretend their actions never happened.
8. Forgiveness does not excuse anything. The last thing this person is, is free.
9. It is all right if you are still angry because what they did was terrible. They caused incredible pain. It was wrong and your anger is the right response.But don’t let your anger and pain and loss prevent you from forgiving them and removing your hands from around their neck.
10. You can declare your forgiveness a hundred times and eventually you will find you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for their wholeness and hopefully love will burn from their life every vestige of corruption.
11. Don’t ever discount your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words a heart can speak.
Adapted from Paul Young's message about Forgiveness from his book The Shack.
the truth about what they have done and changes their mind and behavior, a
relationship of trust is not possible.
2. When you forgive someone you certainly release him or her from judgement,
but without true change, no real relationship can be established.
3. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally acknowledge what they have done and the hurt they have caused,you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation. And sometimes that road may even take you to the miracle of fully restored trust.
4. Forgiveness is first for you, the forgiver to release you from something that will eat you alive, that will destroy your joy and your ability to love fully and openly.
5. The perpetrator probably doesn’t care less about the pain and torment you have gone through. If anything, they feed on the knowledge. You can cut that off by forgiving them and in doing so, you will release them from a burden that they carry whether they know it or not; acknowledge it or not. And anyway, why should they live in your head rent free!
6. You can forgive them but you don’t have to feel loving towards them. But
understand that the broken child that has been twisted by their pain causes their actions.
7. Forgiveness does not require you to pretend their actions never happened.
8. Forgiveness does not excuse anything. The last thing this person is, is free.
9. It is all right if you are still angry because what they did was terrible. They caused incredible pain. It was wrong and your anger is the right response.But don’t let your anger and pain and loss prevent you from forgiving them and removing your hands from around their neck.
10. You can declare your forgiveness a hundred times and eventually you will find you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for their wholeness and hopefully love will burn from their life every vestige of corruption.
11. Don’t ever discount your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words a heart can speak.
Adapted from Paul Young's message about Forgiveness from his book The Shack.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
IMG_2605
Garage build week three. Concrete base goes down and hopefully this week the block wall will go up and the retaining wall behind (covered in polythene) will be backfilled before it gets too saturated and in danger of slippage.......
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Learning to Forgive
Nine Steps to Forgiveness by Dr Fred Luskin
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.
6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.
6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
